Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
