Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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