The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
only if we run a train.
done.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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