A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
