i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
