That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
