Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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