whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
