I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
