so let's talk penis.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
