dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
it glows. i had to have it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
