My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
