you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
How does it feel to date your dad?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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