Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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