is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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