Porn is love you can see.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
