soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
