Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
