how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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