wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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