and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
