when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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