dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
