Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
