Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
