Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
