We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
