Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
