If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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