After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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