She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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