I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
