I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
