the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The power of my boobs compel you
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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