Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
