My nipple is on Facebook.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The feeling are messing with the penis
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
