I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
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