Its about making memories worth repressing
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
