Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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