Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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