I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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