i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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