I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
