The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
