she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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