I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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