I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
