508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
