if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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