I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
